One of the disappointing things about the United Kingdom’s entries in the Eurovision Song Contest – apart from, well, their quality – has been the reluctance of mainstream artists to put themselves forward; or perhaps of the BBC to ask them. Given the kitsch and potentially career-ending nature of the competition, it’s not surprising if acts aren’t tempted to risk their careers on it, but even so it’s odd that we don’t see them trying. Every now and again, though, someone shows an interest, and this time it’s Morrissey:

The former Smiths singer said he was “horrified” by the United Kingdom’s latest poor result in the competition. Rapper Daz Sampson could only manage a paltry 19th out of 24 countries in the most recent contest, which took place in Athens in May.

As a result of said trauma, Morrissey has been left troubled, with one issue in particular on his mind: “There is one question that I keep on asking: ‘why didn’t they ask me?’ That question keeps going round my head.”

A Song for Europe (or whatever it’s called now) with Morrissey vs Franz Ferdinand vs The Divine Comedy, say, would certainly be more entertaining than in recent years, assuming they made it past the Radio 2 listeners who choose the finalists. And that Coldplay aren’t involved.

Ahem.


Yes, it’s my ITV1 debut, completing a full house of terrestrial channels. Hurrah for YouTube. And yes, I did just point my phone at the TV to get that image: that’s about as hi-tech as I get on New Year’s Eve.

The clip shown, which enjoyed pride of place between David Cameron himself and naughty Sion Simon on ITV’s I Was There: The People’s Review 2006, was very short – you can see the full version here.

Helping one of my flatmates to move in yesterday afternoon has left my muscles aching today. It was all the usual stuff: boxes, shelves, lamps, furniture – and a Risograph. This monstrous device was extremely heavy – I’m prepared to believe it literally weighed a ton. It took three of us stopping and starting to get it up four flights of stairs to the second floor and I’m suffering for it today. On the plus side, we now have a Riso in the flat so can print subversive literature like old skool Communist revolutionaries. Or photograph body parts when drunk.

Moving the sofa up the small stairwell was equally entertaining, although fortunately we didn’t quite achieve what would have been an Only Fools and Horses style comedy classic by dropping it over the second floor balcony as we tried to balance it at an angle in order to get it through the not-quite-large-enough front door of the flat. Having succeeded, we celebrated with mulled wine and mince pies, and then a cash machine at London Bridge rather inconvenienced me my gobbling my bank card like a Christmas turkey. They told me 4-5 working days to replace it, so some time in 2007…

Don’t forget that Doctor Who and the Runaway Bride is on tomorrow evening (BBC One at 7pm) and may Santa bring you the capitalist material possessions you so desperately desire 🙂

And incidentally, a Happy Christmas to all of you at home.

I saw part of an episode of Numb3rs last week. The show is about a mathematician who solves crimes with the FBI, which, believe it or not, doesn’t actually appeal to me. It seems a bit sub-Monk and the 3 in the title is just wrong. Still, it had my favourite line from recent TV, spoken by Peter MacNicol, off of Ally McBeal and the upcoming sixth series of 24, as a geeky academic:

“I know a shortcut through Metallurgy.”

I’ve never been quite sure what metallurgy is, but I know I don’t want to catch it.