So bad am I at self-promotion that not only have I not mentioned on this dusty old blog that I’m performing at the Edinburgh Fringe this year, I don’t think I’ve even mentioned that I’ve been doing stand-up comedy. But I am, so that’s cleared that up.

I’m not planning to do a day-by-day reportage of my showbiz Embra lifestyle (last night I was out until half 11 and knocking back diet coke like there was no tomorrow, and there was a tomorrow and I know because that’s where I am now) but that’s how it will begin because it’s all new and shiny and I have tiny anecdotes to share.

I travelled up on Wednesday – that’s the eponymous Day 1. Using my special geek powers, I procured for myself an advanced purchase first class ticket at a very reasonable price and sat back on the train while the nice people from National Express East Coast poured free food down my gullet at regular intervals. I must’ve had 25% of the ticket cost back in complimentary meals. I didn’t even need dinner later on.

My best laid plans to use those four-and-a-bit hours of the journey to do something productive – read a book, revise my set, listen to podcasts, write material – failed completely. I flicked through a free copy of The Independent, completed 65% of the crossword, listened to my iPod on shuffle and sat back waiting for the next delivery of gratuitous grub.

Within two hours of arriving in Edinburgh, I’d seen five people I knew, including meeting a friend who lives in Edinburgh in the queue for the very first show I’d booked. That says less about my dubious connectedness and more about the nature of the Edinburgh ecosystem.

I have rather overdone going to see shows the first few days here but they’re in preview and therefore much cheaper. Using my awesome spreadsheet skills (all right, so I can’t do pivot tables), I optimised savings and did a bit of critical path analysis to allocate shows to the optimum days for the most efficient use of time. In doing so, I saved £45 off the full price tickets, although this was slightly undermined by putting one of the carefully planned shows in my calendar for the wrong day and missing it. C’est la vie.

What I learnt today: Central Edinburgh is loud. Where I’m staying is loud. Sleeping is hard.

Recommended show: Colin Hoult’s Inferno

Obligatory plug: I’m in Three Man Roast, 2.35pm weekdays and Saturday 20th at Finnegan’s Wake on Victoria Street – free entry. Also at the Amused Moose Comedy Awards Showcase at the Pleasance Dome, 4pm on August 17th (book online).