Once upon a time there was a game called Bejeweled. It was fun. You moved colours jewels around and when you made a line of three they disappeared. It was a Facebook application and you could play it against your friends. That turned a slightly addictive game into a competitive one and I got a bit hooked. For a while, I played it a lot. I was pretty good, obviously. And one day I decided I really should just stop, and so I did.
I went a long time without playing Bejeweled. And then, last year, I got an iPhone and discovered the Bejewled iPhone app. Brilliant: you can play by touching the screen – much easier than with a mouse or trackpad. And, even better, the app could connect to Facebook so you could still play your friends.
My competitive side got the better of me. I was hooked. Again. Train journeys in particular were given over to playing Bejeweled. And I was good. I often topped the weekly league of my friends. I got lots of medals and stuff.
And then I started thinking that maybe I could be doing something with all that time. Apart from a sense of satisfaction and general superiority – and let’s not underestimate that – the game achieves nothing. Possibly it keeps my brain in shape, but I doubt it; it’s no kakuro. It occurred to me that train journeys could be better spent reading teh internets, or a book, or just thinking – which sounds wet but isn’t, as Lord Arnopp explains.
So today I have removed Bejeweled from my phone. This will be welcome news to those I have conquered. I judge not ye who choose to retain it, but no longer shall I allow it to sap my time.
I’m free! Free to read! Free to think! Free to use my time for positive, life-affirming ends!
I made the mistake of carrying on reading. The next speaker was the Labour MP for Stirling, Anne McGuire. She began:
I congratulate all Members who have delivered their maiden speeches. I was going to say that my contribution would be an older maiden speech, but one of those adjectives would not quite be appropriate. I shall now launch forward while leaving Members to work out the meaning of that remark.
Regular readers of this blog will know that I usually post a summary of the Eurovision entrants around this time of year. Alas, what with elections and then post-election holidays and then going to the pub a bit, this year there will be no blog post. I know, it’s a tragedy.
However, it’s not all bad news. I’ll be live tweeting along with the Eurovision final on Saturday night on my twitter account, so much of the, er, insight that usually finds its way onto this blog will be available there. Watch out for numerous Blake’s 7 references.
You can also fill this blog-post-sized hole with my contribution to this week’s Pod Delusion podcast. You’ll find me wittering on about Eurovision (recorded in one take I’ll have you know) around 26 minutes in:
Finally, don’t forget to tune in yourself to BBC One at 8pm on Saturday (or some red buttony thing that I don’t have that gives you the lyric subtitles). I’ll be backing Denmark. Or maybe Romania. Or maybe Albania. I haven’t quite made up my mind. And whereas last year I correctly predicted (for once) that Norway would storm to victory, there’s no such obvious victor this year.
Had a quick trip to Rome. Highlights included the ruins of the imperial forum, lots of ice cream and a very enjoyable afternoon catching up with a university friend who’s now a deacon. Low point was the flight out being cancelled and almost not going at all, but that ended happily. May write more about it and bung photos on Flickr, but in the mean time, here’s a video. You may need to turn the volume up…
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