It’s Eurovision time again – hurrah!

This May there will be not one but two semi-finals – that’s three Eurovision TV shows in one week. My my. The UK, of course, goes straight through to the final, regardless of how badly we did last year.

But before we can do that, we need a song, and tonight’s the night we get to decide who will represent us in Serbia. Not for the first time, I won’t have a chance to vote in the selection, but it’s a sacrifice I’m prepared to make.

Once again, the singers include a healthy share of has-beens, but this year reality TV shows are represented in even more abundance than before – and the format positively encourages it.

There are six contestants, divided into three pairs: solo acts, groups, and, ahem, Joseph versus Maria. A studio jury, headed by Terry Wogan, will choose one act from each pairing to face the public phone vote, along with one of the remaining three. Then, in a second show tonight, the two acts receiving the highest share of the vote will sing again before one of them is chosen as our entry, again by public vote.

So who are these audacious songsters?

The solo acts are X-Factor loser Andy Abraham with the passable Even If and former EastEnder Michelle Gayle with Woo (U Got Me). Michelle Gayle has had the most previous success of all the acts, although the only time I’ve seen her was a couple of years ago and she was doing a PA in a club in Blackpool.

Even If is pleasant enough background music, but there’s nothing special about it (a statement that can be applied to most of the entrants). Woo (U Got Me), as it’s slightly silly name suggests, is more fun and, were I part of Terry’s team, I’d probably put it through ahead of Even If.

The two groups acts are both all girl groups. LoveShy (they didn’t learn from Hear’Say, did they?) have a reality TV provenance, but I’m not familiar with them so I’ll let Pop Unlimited explain:

Popstars: The Rivals rejects Emma Beard and Aimee Kearsley still haven’t taken the hint. Refugees from Clea, who miraculously managed to release three albums, the new duo LoveShy are in the running with Mr Gorgeous. […] I’m not sure they’ll really cut it live.

The other group is trio The Revelations with a track called It’s You. Group member Annika is from Sweden, which can only help.

Mr Gorgeous is, to my surprise, quite catchy, contemporary pop with something of a Girls Aloud sound. It’s You has a very sixties feel to it, which apparently is the group’s style. Either could probably be an OK Eurovision entrant.

Which leaves us with Any Dream Will Do failure Rob McVeigh with I Owe It All To You and How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? failure Simona Armstrong with Changes.

I Owe It All To You begins like a million Shayne Ward/Westlife/Steve Brookstein written-for-male-reality-TV-show-winner snoozefests (that’s an actual genre). It comes slighly to life about 60% of the way in, but that’s one-and-a-half minutes too late. Missed opportunity for a Eurovision key change towards the end too.

Changes is marginally better but nothing exciting. I’d probably choose it ahead of IOWATY, but I wouldn’t let either of these anywhere near Belgrade. My only advice to voters: pick one of the other four.

You can listen to clips of all six songs on the BBC’s Eurovision website. Eurovision: Your Decision, with Sir Terry Wogan and Sir Claudia Winkleman, is at 7pm tonight, with the results show at 9.30pm. Happy voting!