So, Dr Reid, why are ID cards necessary?

Without them, the terrorists will be able to sneak past any security and kill us all in our beds.

Can you justify the closure of accident and emergency units around the country?

It’s our way or the highway. We need to enhance A&E. If we don’t, we will all die.

Why does the Government insist on allowing religious organisations to run its new academics?

It is the right solution for education. If we didn’t allow it, education wouldn’t work, young people would turn into terrorists and cut us down where we stand.

Finally, Dr Reid, why shouldn’t Scotland become independent from the rest of the UK?

Scotland we be defenceless against al-Qaeda. Terrorists, death, etc.

I am, of course, completely taking the mick. Well, maybe not completely.

Completely unrelated, but here’s a quote from Francis Wheen’s How Mumbo-Jumbo Conquered the World:

“Non-medical ‘doctors’ who insist on drawing attention to their postgraduate qualification – Henry Kissinger in the US, Ian Paisley in Northern Ireland – always bring disaster in their wake: it’s tantamount to having the warning ‘This Man is Dangerous’ tattooed on one’s forehead.”