Doctor Who stalwart and Mr Bronson actor Michael Sheard dies

Here’s a TV recommendation for digital viewers: an American show based on The Apprentice. Instead of Donald Trump, this Fox version features billionaire N. Paul Todd and his company IOCOR.

Except there is no N. Paul Todd, and no IOCOR – they are fictional, invented to string along a bunch of apprentice-wannabes who are set stupid sales tasks and happily absorb nonsensical management techniques. It was mostly schadenfreude but I laughed like a drain, not least when Todd impressed them by taking them round his mansion (hired for the day) and showing them the pride of his art collection: the original Excalibur.

The whole thing looks like a cheap knock-off of The Apprentice and Rebel Billionaire. One of the contestants even comments, “Donald Trump or Richard Branson wouldn’t make us do this.”

It’s all very silly but good fun (so far) for a lazy afternoon – although unsuccessul in the US where it was axed before finishing its run. Tune in to E4 at 16.05 on Sunday.

PS: This post was not intended to offend The Magic Numbers.

Finally got around at the weekend to seeing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Very much enjoyed it so it’s only fair to start off with the negatives.

Its unfair to compare the film with the very different mis-titled Gene Wilder version – with the notable exception of the Oompa Loompas. Deep Roy works his guts out as one actor playing hundreds and does the job well (“Doris” deserving particular applause) but the lyrics of the songs are often hard to make out and sheer numbers can’t make up for the catchiness of the 1971 songs and the iconic orange faces. A shame as Deep Roy was in the second best Doctor Who story and the second best episode of Blake’s 7.

Where the previous version was particularly criminal and made Charlie and Grandpa Joe as bad as the other children, the new film is thankfully much closer to the book. Where it does stray is the introduction of a backstory for Willy Wonka. Although this makes for a slightly saccharine ending, it helps to break up the factory sequences and is a good excuse to wheel out Christopher Lee, who is terrific as Willy’s dentist father.

Pretty much everything else in the film was great. Tim Burton conjures up a typically idiosyncratic town (full of English voices spending dollars and talking about “candy”) and the factory is full of great visuals. The whole cast is great, from Depp’s Michael Jacksonesque Wonka and Freddie Highmore’s excellent Charlie down to the cameos from Mark Heap and Kevin Eldon.

Best of all, the film is very funny, with some notably post-modern gags (“I keep having flashbacks”). The pop culture references may date it slightly but it was easily the best new film I’ve seen so far this year.

I have done my back in. Not sure how I managed it but I’ve decided to blame the ten minutes I spent on my exercise bike at the weekend. I will therefore use this as an excuse for light blogging.

Over the last week, I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Stewart Lee and Richard Herring, and finally read Maximum Diner – more on those stories later.

But I can’t omit to mention this gem of a quote (paraphrased as I can’t remember it exactly) from Alison Goldfrapp who was on TV promoting her new single, Ooh La La:

The phrase “Ooh la la” is just so English.