So disgraced former Tory MP Jonathan Aitken is backing the swivel-eyed loons of the UK Independence Party. He joins disgraced former Tory MP Piers Merchant, standing on the party’s list in the North West, and disgraced former BBC presenter and former Labour MP Robert Kilroy-Silk. The party’s leader, Roger Knapman, is a former Tory minister. They claim to be “the people against the politicians”, but they seem rather more like “the washed-up politicians against the mainstream politicians”.

Kilroy was at his most irritating on UKIP’s Party Election Broadcast the other night. He sadly had to resort to complaining about the EU’s rules about the bendiness of bananas as a reason for leaving. Yet despite the harbingers of doom in the right wing press telling us that the EU would change the shape of our bananas and cucumbers, would prevent our sausages being called sausages, and would ban smoky bacon crisps, Kilroy may have noticed that we still have pretty normal cucumbers, our sausages are still called sausages, and we can still eat smoky bacon crisps. And as for bananas, all that was introduced was a unified system for classifying the fruit for sale. Which would of course be just as necessary if we were in a free trade arrangement with the EU from outside, which is what UKIP purport to desire.

I want our MEPs to sort out the bizarre system of expenses and renumeration that undermines the European Parliament, and to end the nonsense of shifting the whole operation to Strasbourg every few weeks. But electing UKIP MEPs won’t achieve that: it’s in their interest, as a party that hates the EU, to reinforce rather than resolve the EU’s problems. It’s in everyone else’s interest for the EU to become an efficient, well-run organisation. While I will enjoy seeing the Tories (and the BNP) suffer in the European elections as their voters switch to the UKIP, I doubt that any elected UKIP MEPs will perform a constructive role in the European Parliament. Lucky we’ll have plenty of LibDem MEPs to do that then.

The rising number of bloggers increases the chance of two bloggers going on a date. It’s natural they would then blog about it, so we now have the pleasure of a romantic trip to Hell’s Kitchen, courtesy of both Richard and Emma.

Popped out for a relaxing walk this afternoon and I’m now absolutely soaked. It’s pouring with rain at the moment. It was drizzly a couple of days ago here and bright and sunny yesterday. Thoroughly inconsistent weather.

Saw a few Tory poster boards and some LibDem ones. No sign of anyone wanting to be seen promoting Labour around here. I was also relieved to spot a 21, which had seemed elusive.

(Here be spoilers.)

JK Rowling must have been watching too much Crime Traveller (i.e. any) when she sat down to write Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The finale is only missing Sue Johnston shouting “Slade!” in a melodramatic way.

Yes, this evening I went to see the new Harry Potter film. I’m not a reader of the books so I didn’t know what was coming; nevertheless, the plot was pretty uninspiring and the twists predictable. Both the acting of the young leads and the special effects have come on since the series began, but the result is that my criticisms lay entirely with the film’s story.

The movie is slow to get going, with much talk of Sirius Black but little action of any clear relevance (although elements turn out to be of vague importance later on). There is a lack of structure: a bunch of stuff happens, but with no real thread connecting each incident to the next, and Harry ends up in the Hogwarts infirmary far too many times. This is, perhaps, the result, as with the previous books, of cramming a school year’s worth of events into a two-and-a-quarter hour film.

There is, eventually, a climax of sorts, as everyone reveals their true intentions in the Shrieking House. So many revelations at once, muddled in with Snape’s unnecessary appearance, make for a bumbled scene. (Most of the revelations are obvious, after being heavily trailed, although one – the identity of Pettigrew – seems something a cheat with only the slightest of hints until Ron gets bitten.) Having reached this climax, we then slow down again in order for Michael French and Chlo&euml Annett – sorry, Harry and Hermione – to go back in time and do it all again. And once Harry has been shown fighting off the Nazgul – sorry, Dementors – we (OK, the kids the film is aimed at) are patronised with a detailed explanation.

The Prizoner of Azkaban is directed with more flair than the first two films, but that can’t make up for a weak story that doesn’t flow. It is entertaining but, lacking in structure, feels overlong. Worth a look, but don’t expect too much.

(PS: For an extra dimension, try watching as if Lupin’s secret is that he is a paedophile.)