Having borrowed some tools from work, I have begun attempting to assemble my bed from Argos. It’s not going well (“catalogue of disasters” gag coming soon). I’ve only got as far as the headboard and the holes for slotting the dowels in (the other ends of the dowels being in the headboard slats) are so poorly located that it isn’t just difficult matching them up, it’s a physical impossibility.

I may need a drill.